Offense...The New Cholesterol

When we think of heart disease and clogged arteries, we look at the causes which are typically a build up of calcium, fat, cholesterol and others. When these harmful deposits continue to collect, it narrows the artery essentially cutting off blood supply to the heart. The heart is not able to function at its full potential and successfully carry out its purpose (as it was designed to). This is not a lesson on biology but a lesson on the heart.

If we were to open our closet of memories, I'm sure we could all clearly recount some very hurtful moments. "Life happens", as it was so frankly told to me one time. I didn't like hearing that because there was nothing comforting or stable about something just happening to me. But it is true. Because life happens and people are people, there are going to be moments when you are hurt intentionally or unintentionally (and you will hurt others). There are going to be moments when people don't do what you naturally expect them to do. There are going to be moments when someone does something completely opposite of what you asked of them. Maybe something was said in a tone that seemed disrespectful. There is always going to be an opportunity for 'offense'. You can almost count on it. According to Merriam Webster Dictionary, offense is:

1. Something that outrages the moral or physical senses
2. The act of displeasing or affronting
3. A breach of moral or social code
4. Or as I define it, "you did me wrong"

I believe offense is a natural response, although not the best. But it's a reflex. When something happens we automatically feel we are entitled to be offended and then vindicated. Especially when the offense was not even acknowledged. But offense is a silent killer. It collects and builds up in our hearts and before you know it, our hearts are hardened (dead). There is no supply coming to or from the heart anymore. You can't receive love nor show the love of God. In my quest to keep growing, offense is something I have had to keep an eye on. I've noticed an increase in the opportunities to be offended but I had to address it and give it over to God so that I wouldn't develop heart disease. After all, offense is a heart issue. It's that cringe we feel when someone's name is mentioned or something triggers those dormant ill feelings. The solution is forgiveness. I had a friend put forgiveness into perspective for me in a way that had never heard (Thanks B. Hard - I took it to heart). He said that forgiveness is separating the person from the offense. That way you won't punish the person, but merely acknowledge the offense and dispose of it.

For the past month, Bishop Butler has been doing a series on prayer. Last night he reminded us that offense stops the flow of what you are praying and believing God for. It also ties God's hands from forgiving you! He told us to let go of the offense. I left service and asked God "what do you want from me. I have forgiven already!" I'm someone who is quick to forgive, but have silently held offense. For a long time I struggled with letting offense go because I felt I owned it rightfully. That justice was not served and I got the short end of the stick. Offense is that security blanket or that playing card you can use to justify your damage. We like attention and we like to be victims so people will come and comfort us and make a big to-do over us. But while you are holding onto that thing (whatever it is), you are hurting only yourself. You are clogging your own heart and causing your own heart disease. Is it smart to make your own self [heart] sick? Folks will go on like nothing happened and sometimes you may feel like you were the one left to clean up the mess and pick up the pieces. Sometimes, it's like that. But I encourage you today, as I have put into practice, to let go of the offense or whatever that no no is to you. Brush that chip off your shoulder and separate the person from the offense. It all starts with forgiveness. Not permitting what was done, but saying "Hey, you made a mistake. I make mistakes. I'm not going to hold it against you". Our minds say "What! NO! " But that's where we are responsible for renewing our minds and thoughts (Phil 4:8).

Just remember that just like we call on God's grace to release us from the punishment or consequences that we really deserve, we need to extend that same grace. I have prayed for God to help me operate in grace towards others and it is working. If you don't want God to give you what you deserve [negatively], then don't dish it out to others. Grace and mercy is our lifeline.