Crush Crisis

Women have the difficult and tricky role of waiting to be chosen by the RIGHT man (however that's defined by you and God). In my own experience, even most recently, I have found myself in the midst of what I will call a crushing crisis. This was the longest lasting crush I had in a while and Facebook was NO help, just made it worse. One of my favorite songs by Alicia Keys is You Don't Know My Name and expresses my sentiments. I got to the point where I was trying to be seen on purpose and was convinced that when he was looking my direction, he was looking at me (in a room of 50+ people). I was toiling within myself and toiling turned into anxiety. Anxiety turned me into a possessive monster because we act like the guy or girl we like is the only one left in that category. I put my stamp on this good brotha with hopes of building a friendship that would lead to other things. When I want something, I am adamant about getting it! All the while, I was questioning God "what's the point of crushes" because I was driving my own self crazy, let alone my friends. So I worried myself into a into a stupor until my friend came to the rescue and talked me off the edge of the cliff (thanks Jazz).

My perspective has been forever changed! Crushes don't have to be a curse people. Clearly this "guy" possessed qualities and characteristics that I desire in my special someone (hence the crush). So what if I don't get this specific guy that I had MY eye on. God is showing me through my crush, that there are men who exist that have what I desire and more! So I don't have to have anxiety (through fear) because God will supersede who I think is good for me. He won't give me less! If God can do better than the guy I like, I will be the luckiest girl in the world. Bring it on God!

My focus is no longer on the guy because that doesn't even matter. What does matter is what's for me will be for me. I don't want to have a desire for possibly someone else's future man. As Solomon so eloquently put it, "I am my lover's and he claims me as his own" (Song of Songs 7:10 New Living Translation). And while we wait in a positive expectation for that good man or woman, our focus should be on the biggest unfinished project of our lives, OURSELVES. Focus on all that you have ever been required to focus on, God's work! All the extra stuff, you are stepping beyond your boundaries. I'm reminded of the scripture talking about the return of J.C. and how, in the mean time, we (or the Disciples being taught) are to keep busy until His return (Luke 19:13). Stay busy while waiting.

A friend of mine wrote a very poignant note about contentment, the key to your sanity (thanks for sharing Mina ;-):

"So I was given this prayer CD and it had this sweet confession for unmarried people on it that I thought was definitely worth sharing. Many times I see singles around the church selling themselves short when it comes to dating, job choices, friends, improving themselves, etc. But I'll never forgot a message that I heard preached at a Y.E.S.S. Meeting (if you know what that is, then you are cool with me). The message was entitled, "The Enemy of the Best is the Good". What we think may be good for us or what even looks good, may not be God's best.

Proverbs 14:12 says, "There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death." We as children of God need to remember that God's ways are higher than ours and so are His thoughts (Isaiah 55:9). Therefore, what may look good to us really needs to be brought before God and the light of His Word before we act on it. You see, His Word will shed light on the situation and reveal the truth that was previously hidden in the darkness! This process takes time, and contrary to what satan wants us to think, we do have the time. The BEST is definitely worth the wait. Okay, okay, okay, enough preaching from me...check out this confession:

I confess total contentment in myself, wholeness in my body, patience to wait on God, and security in Christ. I am a person of high self-esteem and significant value to the Kingdom. I will not compromise my covenant with God, nor will I allow fear to cause me to operate in the flesh (realm of the flesh). I exercise complete and total control over my mind, my will, and my emotions, and I do not leave any doors open for satan to sneak in.

I understand that every relationship is not for me. Every person does not have my best interest. All that glitters isn't gold, and every sugary thing is not sweet. In the Name of Jesus, I will not be distracted by counterfeits and wolves in sheep's clothing. I will not lower my biblical expectations nor will I give in to the pressures of the world. I have total confidence in God and the plan that He has for my life."