Heart Cry

I'm sitting in my room...it's 10:50 and I'm usually in bed by this time. I feel like having a late night for some reason. The song I'm listening to is 'Cry On' off the live album by Commissioned. I am trying to reason this sadness that has crept up on me. I think I smile so much that in my quiet times, my issues become loud. I''m going to sit back and chill...'til tomorrow my good people...

Margin

This was an eventful week for me. I had two presentations, a huge test, rehearsals, and a behind the scenes role in the Easter play. I am sore and tired! BUT I'm relieved that the week is almost complete. When I was pondering on this past week, I realized that I felt a sense of accomplishment. Hard weeks will make you appreciate the easy ones!

I was on the brink of feeling down on myself because I have gotten in a bad habit of not creating enough margin for myself sometimes. A lot of my preparation for my two presentations were last-minute (happens when you have other group members), somewhere in between creating powerpoint slides I managed to get a little studying done for my test, and somewhere between all of that, I managed to get some food and sleep. Essentials, right?! My room, the kitchen and my quiet time have suffered in the last couple weeks. I travel a lot during the week going to school, being involved in church, and running errands, so I am ALWAYS on the run. It hit me on Thursday, when I showed up to an appointment late, took too long on my test and was driving recklessly to make it to rehearsal on time, that I wouldn't have to be going through all of this If i would only create margin for myself!

Margin: an amount allowed or available beyond what is actually necessary. So think of margin in terms of time. Creating enough or beyond enough space of time needed. Too bad I had this epiphany about myself while I'm driving 80miles an hour on I-75 with a subway sandwich in one hand and my phone in the other! I have learned to drive with my knee...Preparing for what's ahead will save you time and sanity. Sounds simple enough, but you know you have your moments when you wait until the last possible minute because you have convinced yourself that "I have time". There is always some type of preparation that can be done therefore there should never be an idle moment. Whether its preparing for your day tomorrow, reading material that will be useful in the near future, prayer-kick'n it with Jesus, reading your Word, cooking, writing what's on your heart, washing clothes/dishes, or whatever pertains to you. There is a peace and serenity attached to creating margin for yourself. I finally see a break in the clouds!

Practice margin until it becomes a discipline. Give yourself more moments to breathe and enjoy the scenery of your life journey ;-)

Tightrope'n

Some years ago, I remember watching a video of a man who was a tightrope walker. This video ended up on the World's Most Shocking Videos by the way. This man, don't remember the name, was attempting to walk between two buildings. This wasn't a novice. This guy had been doing this for some years. So he starts down the wire and next thing you know, a wind comes along and knocks him to his death. What was tragic was that his death wasn't a result of an act of heroism. It wasn't for an occupation per se. He wasn't getting paid to do it. His death was a result of a thrill, a challenge, or maybe taken on a challenge prematurely.

Tightrope walkers typically have a focus point. Their focus is ahead of them. Most times they have a balancing pole that helps them to distribute their weight evenly, which results in balance. One foot is moved at a time. There is no other route, just one rope, one way to the end. When I think about our walk as believers, I think of tightrope walkers. Life or our path chosen for us, is the rope we are walking on (If you choose God's path for your life). That's why the narrow road is the lonely road. It's just you and Jesus (HG). The balancing bar is the Holy Spirit that helps distribute our weight and auto-corrects our steps. Our focus is (or should be) on Jesus - the author and finisher of our faith. When we experience imbalance in our lives and a struggle between our flesh and our spirit, it's because we have taken our eyes off Christ and we are looking around at everything else. We stopped looking at Christ concerning our relationships and are now looking at that good brotha to the left. We stopped looking at Christ concerning our provision and are now looking at that good bill that came in the mail. The wind that blows are the things of this world that are designed to knock us off our ropes. Keep Christ and the Word before your eyes so you don't loose focus. And like the famous tightrope walker that fell to his death, don't move forward until you have been guided to. Premature actions could cause the death of your soul or the death of you.

Carta Amorosa

To: the one I'm in love with,
you know who you are.
Just look at your hands,
you're the one with the scars.
It's your little girl take'n a moment to release,
these butterflies in my stomach,
'cause the fluttering won't cease.
Infact they increase with every heartbeat,
and every beat of my heart they restart and restart.
What kind of love is this,
that has no ups and downs?
I'm just high all the time,
except when distractions are around.
But I gotta shake it off,
get my attention back on you so I don't get lost.
I've gotten past the stage of "Imagine Me",
but now I'm living out the woman I always knew I could be.
I could go on and on 'cause I know you're always listening,
But no words have been discovered to fully express how much you mean to me.

I have "gas"

Do you remember when gas was below $2? Man, my best friend and I would go half on gas. I put in 5 and she would put in 5. We were good to go! Then as the temperature outside rose, gas prices rose. Then I just started getting plain cheep! I used to have a bad habit of putting only $5 worth of gas in my car because I was stuck in a mentality that "I don't want to pay extra". The gas attendant got a kick out of my ignorant behavior. You couldn't tell me a THING! I would slide that five dollars on the counter like it was an offer he couldn't refuse. So what do you think happened? The next day, I was right back at the gas station...womp, womp. Needless to say, I have been delivered from that mentality and foolishness. I fill my tank to the full now because, when you think about it, it costs more when you don't.

My classmate warned me earlier this week that gas is going up to $3.65 by the end of the week. I would've been ok, except for that fact that I have been upgraded from a car to a truck. I reverted back to my old way of thinking. Man, I don't want to pay the extra amount of money it's going to take to fill my tank up.

God will speak to you in unconventional ways. He started to show me the correlation of filling my gas halfway or quarter way, that's how much I was filling myself up spiritually. I would sorta read my word but not study it. I would sorta read my word but not meditate on it. God will upgrade us to a new level but to whom much is given much is required. We fill up with the Word halfway or some of us, just a quarter tank because we don't want to spend the extra time. We do just enough to barely get by. It costs more when you don't fill yourself up with the Word. Put off the old man, and put on the new.

Clearly, today I was on half a tank and felt the effects of it...

Emo-ccident

An emo-ccident this weekend, needless to say! Gut splitt'n laughs and sincere tears. If I didn't have a balance, I would be in a straight jacket right about now. There is no pain like the pain of a bad decision. There is no joy like the joy the Lord blesses you with through good friends. True medicine with no harmful side-effects!

I was watching Oprah's Big Give show last night. I think its awesome to provoke people to answer to the call of the needs of others. I was boo-hoo'n like a baby! I have experienced the euphoria of giving or making sure someone gets the service they need in order to function more efficiently. There is a super-natural law that is in place that rewards the act of giving with the right heart. But it never ceases to amaze me how Biblical principles are used without giving credit to it's source, THE BIBLE! For instance The Secret http://www.thesecret.tv/, I admit I was one of the first people to jump on the band wagon and treated this "new finding" as a phenomenon. But I got checked real good because The Secret simply is a reiteration of Biblical principles, with a slight twist. The law of attraction, faith: ask-believe-receive, positive thinking=positive results...This is nothing new at all! But as soon as Oprah put The Secret on prime time TV, everybody ate it up and talked about how it changed their lives. Doesn't the Bible do that? God gets no love either because The Secret refers to the higher source as the Universe. If they mentioned God in The Secret, would people still eat it up?!


A New Earth: Awakening Your Life's Purpose...also, another "new phenomenon" changing so many lives. But why doesn't the Bible change the lives of the people who believe in Universal principles? Why isn't the Bible making it in Oprah's book club (no diss on Oprah)?
Even more importantly, why aren't believers big like Oprah, having such an influence that we provoke people to try God or try the Bible. There has been a robbery and I don't want to be the standby that does nothing.