316

I was sitting in my car, about to do a home visit, and I was being nosey watching the police responding to a call at a house further down the street.  I just happened to look out the window to the left and across the street was this tiny brick house.  Although houses stood on either side of it,  it seemed as if it were standing alone.  It couldn't have been more than 800sq ft and probably had one bedroom, a bathroom and a kitchen/dinning room/family room all in one.  My eyes were locked dead on this house.  I don't know why but for some reason I was attracted to it and I said to myself that I would live in that house if I had one of the most important things to me.  I would live in it for love.  The house could be empty, but as long as my heart was full that's all I would care about.  Here's to house 316.    

I had an "I don't want to grow up" stint this past week adjusting to a new job where I was questioning my ability to do my job right and to make a difference.  Pile on some decisions I have to make soon concerning my future and a great amount of anxiety about the upcoming holidays.  I just became one big ball of tension!  For a moment, I imagined life being a little easier where I wasn't challenged in so many ways and where everything just worked out right without much effort.  Then I thought about the Easy Button and how nice it would be if it were something real that could be pushed and *shazam* everything turns right side up.  Problems go away, folks act and treat you the way you expect, responsibilities become a little lighter, and days aren't so hectic.  Smooth sailing.  But since that button doesn't really exist with those functions, in my mind I have escaped to a small town in South America, living a simple life selling fruit in a street market (as I always say when I feel the urge to press eject).

Much has shifted and moved lately, in a good way, but it doesn't mean that with the shifts there wasn't going to be some pressure applied [I'm reminding myself].  Pressure is definitely not comfortable and neither is coming out of your comfort zone.  Seems like when I'm taken to a new level there is an element of difficulty.  I am grateful for the opportunities God has presented for me, no doubt.  Think about gymnasts competing in the Olympics.  It's definitely an honor to be there in the first place!  There's a portion of their score that judged partly off of level of difficulty.  Meaning that that there is an element to their performance that maybe they've never done before, was attempted.  If they want to beat their competitors, they not only have perfect that element but do it better than everyone else.  That's pressure!  Just because the element may look nice on TV doesn't mean that it was easy for them to do.  But what if someone won the gold medal for completing a cartwheel alone.  Was much effort really put into winning that medal?  Maybe if you were athletically challenged but for a good number of us, it can be done without much effort.  Would the gold medal be appreciated if there wasn't any blood, sweat and tears put into it?  It makes you think why our victories are sweeter when we've cried a little or thought this was the end of us but came to find out that it really wasn't.  Then we look back and say "I don't even know how I made it through that hot mess!" 

I've also thought about labor and why God designed it the way He did.  The easy thing would be for your stomach to detach somehow and there's the baby.  But it's an intense moment in time that tests you and seems like is pushing you to your limits (unless you've had an easy labor).  I've always heard mothers say that once the baby arrived, everything they went through to get to that point seemed to disappear.  For whatever pain or pressure was experienced, the end result makes it worth it all.  I'm looking forward to that moment.  But in the meantime, I have enough life moments like this illustration to labor through.  The end results will be worth it and I know it.  So do we really want life to be easy, taking it for granted?  Or do we want to be pushed to explore our abilities and enjoy the fruits of our labor?  I believe the latter.


Dear Lord,

Help me not to take the easy way out but to persevere, giving you a chance to show your ability through me.  Your word says that you are the greater one in me and there is nothing too hard for me.  Remind me of that, when I forget.  In Jesus' Name,  Amen.

Reflection

I was thinking this morning, how would I feel as a parent if my children asked me for something that they wanted badly and I overheard them complaining about when they were going to get it and if I understood what they wanted.  Like Christmas, for instance.  I made my list and there was this great anxiety up until that Christmas morning to see if I got what I asked for.  I had specifics and I wanted to make sure my requests were clear!  Ok, back to me being a parent --->I would be upset!  My desire to get what my children desired would be gone!  I would feel my children were ungrateful and doubted my ability as a parent to be kind enough in granting their wishes.  Then I had a reality check.  That's how I treat God sometimes.  I follow the Word, make my requests know, believe I receive and then ask God if he understood my request.  I then become impatient with how long it's taking to manifest and if God understood what I wanted exactly.  So then I thought to myself "What would make me, as a parent, move a little quicker in providing that 'thing' for my children?"  Gratitude or thanks giving, not nagging.  If my children were thankful and confident and showed excitement, I would stay on top of the mission and maybe even add a little something extra on the side.  I believe that's how God is.  Complaining, I believe, annoys him (as it would you too).  Thanks giving causes His hand to move quicker.  Just my own little reflection moment.  

Special Delivery

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - things about such things." Philippians 4:8 NIV

About a week ago, I was having a particularly sad evening.  So I remedied it by going to bed.  That next morning I woke up from what was, to me, a nightmare about something that is near to my heart.  Needless to say, that dream made matters worse and thoughts of fear and anxiety were swirling through my head all day.  With the way I felt, the dream might as well have been real!  This was something that I have battled with before and had gotten under control.  I know how I am when things like this happen.  I won't pray about the issue, I won't get encouragement from the Word and I won't talk to God because "I just need a moment".  I got nothing accomplished that day and used my sadness as an excuse.  The very next evening, I went to church as I heard a message about faith (something pretty commonly talked about).  But this time, it was different!  It was explained in a way that got my attention.  The theme of the message was about recession and believing for God to restore back the material things that were lost [by faith].  That's not my story though (thank God!), so I'm believing for other things.  I went home and repented for allowing doubt and fear to come into my heart and not believing that God is actually able to work my stuff out.  Sometimes we feel that things are so far gone that we give up on them.

In reflection, I realized why I had a moment of a temper tantrum.  My weekends had been particularly busy and long.  When I find myself going to bed late, getting up early, not saying my confessions, running out the door and running on E, I'm in a position of vulnerability.  I basically left the backdoor open for the enemy to get into my thoughts.  So he seized the opportunity to deliver my [old] fears and [old] anxieties and I signed for the packages.  These are things I have no business entertaining.  So I reminded myself of the scripture above and told my mind that it will only think of things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy.  Anything that is of negative report, you can find comfort in knowing that it is not from God.  God doesn't deliver fear and anxiety.  He's a business man but that's not his m.o.

Having a life and staying busy needs balance.  With no balance, you will end up a target.  It's ok to slow down and take care of not just your body but also your mind.  Just know that whatever you are believing for, the enemy will come with his plan of attack to get your faith off of believing for that thing.  It's no coincidence.  That's the true test.  How much do you really believe God is able, against all odds?