This is one of those posts where I didn't know how or where to begin. So I'm turning my head off and my heart on. Let's talk about soul addiction. Something real and as deadly as any addiction to substances. First let's define what a soul is, not to be mistaken for our inner spirit.
Soul: Mind. Will. Emotions.
A soul untamed can be a driving force for self destruction. It's a shooting gun without a scope, a fishing line with no aim and moving vehicle with no destination. All which can produce either harmful, unproductive and unwanted results. What I think about most becomes what I will to do most. What I will to do most, becomes what I end up acting out. And continuing to practice in an soul untamed is as quicksand. Deeper and deeper you sink to the death of your soul. Your mind dies. Your will dies. Your emotions die.
A show I often watch is called Intervention and on this show, everyday people share their stories of addiction, often triggered by trauma from their past. A common theme I've noticed is that most of these individuals know the risks, know the harm and want to quit their addiction. So, then, what stops them? The road through withdrawal. By nature we avoid what causes us pain and gravitate towards what brings us pleasure, no matter how temporary. Over time, the body has become dependent on that substance and denial of it can cause extreme reaction. To avoid withdrawal, the addiction is continually fed. We keep drinking the poison to avoid the withdrawals of not having it.
With a soulish addiction, you have extreme highs and extreme lows. It's rarely ever balanced. No stability. That "thing" makes you happy one day and sad the next. The test of a soul addiction is when you have to let something harmful go that you know is hurting you but you feel the process of losing that thing isn't worth it even though you know it will hurt you even more. It becomes better to have that thing present because it has become such a part of you, you can't see past the anxiety of it's absence. An addicted soul begins to believe that what's right is wrong and what's wrong is right. It uses it's disability as an excuse and crutch. It adopts the victim mentality and doesn't accept the help offered. It believes that it's happiness is based on that "thing" and without it, happiness cannot be achieved. It holds on to the possibilities rather than faces the realities.
Even when the situation reads"Dead End", we keep going. I know I have. In a lot of neighborhoods you'll see a sign for some streets that say "Dead End". You can look as far as the road stretches and sometimes even see the ending of that road. But rose colored glasses can skew the view of that road and deceive you to think the sign isn't true. We do that with life. Worst of all, we do that with people. One day I had to reflect on how I end up in some of the same situations and it became that I have a habit of ignoring these signs or in denial that they exist. We see the signs that this road has a blunt dead end but because our wants get ahead of us, we continue down the road and become disappointed when it doesn't take us as far as we hoped. We plow through construction signs that say "Road Closed", "Under Construction", "Caution". But then are nursing wounds, a broken soul, when we hit craters that God meant to save us from. You headed down a road you weren't suppose to in the first place. You become emotionally attached to something that wasn't intended for you to. And because your mind is the driving force, tainted by skewed rationale, it propels your will. In turn, swaying your emotions like a flag in the wind. Sinking sand pulls you deeper and deeper into a depression. Then you become someone you don't recognize anymore. You make decisions and act in a way that is out of character.
Elevation and acceptance is the cure for an addicted soul. Addiction is selfish. It focuses on self and self fulfillment. The minute you look up to the One who is greater and worship Him instead of "it", the power the addiction appears to have over you weakens. It's not a one time act either. It's continual elevation. You can't have both elevation and a grip on a cement block. Both pull in different directions, so one direction must be chosen. One direction will give the fulfillment you desire and the other will give the illusion of it. Higher thinking promotes a will that directs our actions and choices in a healthy way. Often that thing we are afraid to let go of becomes insignificant in the scheme of the life we were intended to live. Acceptance says"Hey, this is not for me and I am ok with that. I will be ok without it". Acceptance is recognizing when something is not good for you, empty promises and all. That thing is a hot dog in comparison to the steak dinner being offered. It all comes down to a choice. A choice I have to make everyday. Some days are successful and others aren't. But that's the beauty of a new day, a new start. Letting go offers healing. Holding on offers hurt. You and I have been granted free will to choose, so let us choose life one day at a time.
Father,
Elevate our souls to see past the illusion before us and give us the strength we need to really let go.
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